I made this for a lecture on communication theory, postmodernist style. Surprised? You should not be. The image is inspired by the front cover of Uta Ranke-Heinemanns book Eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven. A fantastic book about the catholic church and its formed view on sexuality. Blimey, it's a very good book.
Now that's over with, let me tell you a frank account of this year. As every year before, turbulent. As few years containing ups and downs like you would never believe. Describing how it affected me is a process I have to use the entire year of 2007 to do. Maybe it did not affect me more than any given year, any given moment of my life - adding feathers upon feathers, gold on lead, horses on a green meadow eating drugs. Today, let me just sum it up in a very few words.
I am a serial murderer of sentiments.
When 2006 started, the woman I thought I loved had to be won back, no matter what. Veni vidi vici. Come August, another became emperor of my heart. Myself. My thoughts of what might have been. Her, the one I loved, hated, loved, hated, loved eternally. She had her birthday and my head exploded.
I got a cat. I got together with the secret thought, the may be the one. She was not. I hated myself, I said so. I am single.
May I be like a cardinal, a venial sin, a deathly trap, trapping my heart in corners, not giving me any chance, egoistic, just wanting to have power - winning without risking? Sacrificing what is me to fit into an image? Self sacrificing, egoistic love - is that love? No. I mean good, I love, I wish her to be happy.
I am me. Let me respect that.
I love you.
