Rest in peace sounds better than rest in tar

My grandmother became old. Very old as I reckon. 89 and a half. She died a peaceful death as they say, but surely everybody must have that last flicker of . Your life reduced to a star in a galaxy itself a dot in infinite universes. Can you really think that big? Probably not. Unfinished sentence. What comes after is altogether different. Or is it? Life is a mystery someone surely have said, so it must be. Otherwise it is just logic and mathematics.



However, concerning my grandmother.

She smoked sixty cigarettes a day, on an average, if not more (just leave it as a qualified guess, unless you want me babbling on) her entire life. Very much I reckon. Very very many unfiltered Pall Mall and tobacco roll ups. My father said she started when she was a teen. Let's assume she just smoked 40 a day on flat average. 365 days a year, for... let's be very modest and say 60 years. It is still a lot of smoke. 876 000 packaged doses actually. The force is strong in this one.

She started smoking when the tar was really laid on heavily. Let's be fair and call it 10 mg. Hm, guess you had to have a really big bottle, fitting nearly nine litres of first class wall treatment. Would be enough for a cottage in the forest, lasting decades against tough weather. There you could take up work as P@1S0N, the nicotin killer. Nikita Nicotia. Nurse Nick. Nico Tambaquillère.

In one of our developing stories this night, Nurse Nick is known to have left his signature beside the bodies of twelve cabinet members assasinated in the bushes at President Bush' farm in Texas. The cabinet members, know as the Bushwackers by Washington lobbyists, was found face down, trousers too. Thanks to diligent work by the county morgue, earlier suspicions of foul play amongst Bush' own security force was led to rest. Starved of emotions as they might be, beating about the bushes was NOT what they were doing the night in question, as an anonomous source close to the family told the Washington Post. State coroner in Texas, doctor Bumble Bumble at the Tarrant Forensic Toxicology Laboratories, states in the official press release, that, and I quote: "...Suspicions of large objects causing the carnage have been irrefutably revoked, as a refinement on the teqniques used, showed death to be accomplished by just a small prick."

If you think injecting nicotine is a good idea, start by reading this rant, which I kind of like and kind of scoff at. It makes some sense, but I still think cigarettes is a bad idea for your health. Of course, suffering from withdrawal is not a fake thing. A friend of mine, oh does she take it face on. Weakness is nowhere so visibible than in a quitting smoker. My grandmother, she did not risk that. Myself, I like weaknesses and collect them aplenty. Rabidly interesting details and descriptions of every property known to folk medicine aside, I think I need some food.

Nurse Nick could have killed more than those people living in the tarred cottage. About 7.800 people in fact. It took him years of course and a hell of a lot of syringes. The last 100 he just gathered in a basement and put on the CO gas bottles he had collected and dutifully filled through the years. His life fulfilled, only ashes remained. Which reminds me of my grandmothers second man, much younger than her. He was also a staunt man, but drawed too heavily. He actually sat and rolled his cigarettes while he was hooked to the breathing helper (what you call those thing, you sit and get help venting for a while, putting in a bit of extra oxygen perhaps). When he didn't breathe the fresh breath of a machine, he smoked.

Thinking of it in this way make it seem a bit excessive, but it surely helped my grandmother keep the alzheimer at bay. Sort of. Surely, se weered all over the universe of time and space, but coherently. What does it mean when you are having sort of an developed discussion in such circumstances? Yes, repeats here, a bit of static now and then, changing the playing field alltogether - but still, recognizable in a comforting manner.

Not all memories need to be good memories to be good.